The most crucial aspect of ending the abuse and mistreatment of women and their children is the backing and support of friends, family and the community. They can provide these women with much needed information as well as concrete ways to take the first step towards a new beginning. Every action that we take as individuals is part of the solution towards ending woman and child abuse.

How To Help Someone Who Is Being Abused

• Provide information about women abuse and domestic violence along with various resources that are available
• Do not judge or blame. Rather listen and reassure the woman that she is not responsible for the situation. Let her know that she is not alone and that woman abuse is a societal problem.
• Point out that abuse is more than physical, that verbal and emotional abuse is just as destructive and a form of control.
• Assist with safety planning and encourage her to do this in advance
• Encourage the woman to seek legal advise before she takes any steps that could have negative legal repercussions - this is critical when children are involved
• Respect the woman's right to confidentiality and do not do anything that could put her at risk, e.g. confronting her partner
• If you see or hear a woman being assaulted or threatened, call the police

Stay or Go?

Staying
You may have decided to stay in an abusive relationship for any number of reasons. You should take time to consider how you can best keep yourself and your children as safe as possible.

• Keep ensuring any injuries you may have are recorded with someone you can trust such as a GP or a close friend.
• Ensure you have photos of injuries if possible. These may prove useful in the future if things persist.
• Find someone you can speak to because you may be so affected by the abuse that you cannot make an informed decision as to what you can do.
• Remember you are not responsible for what someone else does, even if they insist that you are.

Going
It is best to spend time researching your options and have prepared a plan to leave

• You should have a survival kit / emergency bag ready (See below).
• Ensure somebody knows you are leaving and are safe and well.
• Find a safe house for refuge. They will advise you on what to do next and help keep you safe.

Survival kit – emergency bag

If you are a woman in an abusive relationship and you have made the decision to leave and seek help, ensure you have a "survival kit" and that it is up to date and has all the relevant documents or photocopies, money and clothing needed. Your emergency bag should contain the following:

• Identification
• Marriage and Birth Certificates
• Money, Credit Card and Bank Details
• Change of clothes for you and your children
• Toiletries
• Keys for house, car and place of work (you can get an extra set cut for your emergency bag)
• Driving license and car registration documents if applicable
• Prescribed medication
• Legal documents (especially showing jointly owned property, rental agreements etc)
• Any documents relating to the abuse e.g. police reports, court injunctions,and restraining orders
• Address book and telephone numbers
• Small items of sentimental value
• Children’s toys

If you are unable to keep and get original copies try to obtain photocopies instead. Keep it at a safe place such as with a friend, relative or hidden.